i totally forgot that i had a sex dream about dan lopez. LOL.
and a cuddly/kissy dream about yuta. :3
and a simply cuddly one about carlos too. that was strange but it wasn’t like bad lololol.
i used to be so content with being by myself. if i had a boyfriend, i wanted a lot of space because i never wanted to get sucked in to all the “togetherness” madness even if i love being with them. i’ve never wanted to lose myself to someone.
i mean at least not since dylan, because that definitely happened when i was with him. but i take that as a mistake and a warning sign now.
anyway,
mars and i keep trying to make plans with each other and it keeps falling through. the thing is, i’m beyond excited to see him and i think i’m just trying to bring back feelings for him because i’m not with someone. i just want attention. but i still like him and miss him and have leftover feelings from high school too. i don’t know.
also, i’m overly excited to talk to yuta everyday, and i really want to be able to see his face on skype. or actually i just want to fly to tokyo right now and be with him but i feel like he’s kind of intimidated by me and i don’t want that to happen. i just want things to be the way it was when it was the summer of 2010, when we were flirty and on skype and he went on without a shirt *-*
